Reiki Master, Intuitive Counselor

OK. So here it is.

I am a spiritual being. I have not wanted to be one most of my life, in fact i have run from it all my life. However it seems the divine is showing “Jonah and the Whale” on the Goins drive in theater and i humbly bow my head.

I thought it was enough to acknowledge my skills and understand them and use them for personal acquaintances and myself, however the clarion call is

Cast my bread upon the waters.

SO i will start here, most of you know me, and you know i am a practical hard science kind of guy. I much prefer physical answers to things like cell biology and electro-chemical signaling. That does lead to the acknowledgment of Acupuncture and then to meridians and then to the energetic body as a whole and then to how the brain manipulates emotions and auras etc….

I have envisioned myself becoming a Naturopath and holistic energy practitioner, later, not now. I dont know enough and i dont have all the letters behind my name and and and

the whale…..

SO here is the deal.

I offer my services to anyone here who wants/needs them. There will be a confidentiality agreement as well as a small fee for services rendered.

I work with 2 flavors of Reiki. In Kundalini Reiki I have certified Mastery and in Usui Reiki ( traditional ) I have attained mastery but have not been certified. I also use a personal form of energy manipulation.
I read Tarot Cards and have several decks, and with some persons no medium is required.

I have experience with many modalities and find the pearls from each.

If I cant work with you I will say so.

I have spent time learning to separate myself from my “client” and unless our situations are very very similar I can promise that I wont be working on your problem to work on mine.

I will not provide therapeutic advice as that is the purview of certified, licensed, providers, and I am not. However i do have advice to give and you may feel it is wise or you may chose to ignore it.

I wish you all light and wholeness.

Namaste.

you may email me at themysticshaman@gmail.com

What is a healthy diet

As I have been focused on my health for a very long time and have tried eating every which way imaginable This is a question that keeps coming up.

What IS a healthy diet?

Mainstream media would have you believe that focusing on specific items is the key to success in this area. Traditional medical advice would have you focus on “diet and exercise” neatly sidestepping the question altogether. Nutritionists would have you focus on calories. AgroBiz, which if we are being honest really controls what America and the World at large eats, only provide you with shelf stable, marketable and fashionable foods ( and now a WORD from our SPONSOR ).

HOW DOES THIS HELP YOU.
Y
O
U
???

It doesn’t. not one interest group above has any vested interest in your health, just their pocketbooks, and in all fairness that IS the way it should be. We live in a capitalist society and we base our lives on the transference of energy/money as our primary method of existence. So don’t expect anyone to have your back, it is not the game we agreed to play.

So what about it? what is healthy? is it Vegan? is it Paleo? is it Jenny Craig, or any other named “diets” which happen to work for someone smart and savvy enough to market the hell out of it?

I say no! and for that matter HELL NO!!! ( and this is if you have not figured it out yet and OP/ED piece)

A Healthy diet is one that provides your body what it needs to continue all metabolic processes….. period.

For the last several months I have struggled with explaining to people what food really is and what it isn’t.  Most of us don’t know who made our food, don’t know where it comes from, and most of us don’t want to know. Like children we demand that our parents ( Agrobiz ), put things we like on our plate and don’t ask us to wash the dishes, McDonald’s gladly obliges. Like children we refuse to take responsibility for ourselves or our health and we trust someone who’s focus is their own pocketbook to give a damn about us and our health. I don’t know about you but I don’t know my neighbor on the other block well enough to care if he is eating right, how do you expect Monsanto or Cargill to care about you or your children.

Food is simple. It grows alone in the wild without intervention. If we choose to cultivate it we need to respect its boundaries or it quickly becomes not food. Example? Spelt, now called and ancient grain, was once all that wheat was. we didn’t like ti the way it was and so we modified it. All well and good, until we turned it into something that compromises our immune systems and causes more damage than health. Potato’s are nightshades and thus deadly poison, but since we eat the tubers we forget about these things.

So much of what we value about “food” is taste, but not nutrition.  I didn’t create the rules but apparently taste was a secondary consideration to the upkeep and health of the human body..

Over the last several months I have been learning via trial and error what can and cannot be used for health in my body and one thing i have noticed. As i am only eating real food i note that there is no way for me to take in all the nutrients i need from food and over eat. There i not enough time in the day or room in the belly for such nonsense.

So when you are looking for the healthy way to eat know that it is not what society at large wants from you but what you body needs in order to survive, in order to thrive.

Then make the hard choice to treat yourself right and eat real food.

-100

Today I have booked a 100.2 pound exorcism. HGC has provided me a took i was never able to accomplish on my own and thank god I was humble(d) enough use it.

Thank You

Mobile blogging

Due to continuous hardware failures I have a new phone. It is a droid phone. So I expect more biff posts now that I am mobile

BE DILIGENT, BE ADAMANT.

How you do this is up to you. Remember that you are a child of the universe/planet/divine/god. “God never made any junk” You are precious, unique, divine. How can that be expressed in anything so mundane as a dress size, as a scale number. It cannot. America is the new Sparta and we are condemned for not measuring up to a mythical standard of beauty. We are also condemned for not being massively wealthy, the best chef, the best dressed, the most popular. These are all affectations that we must internally overcome to mature and to live the life we were created to live.

To thine own self be true. This is the path that call us all, we here express that through a need , hunger , desire to manifest a more “healthy” version of ourselves. No one else can define that , no one else can see that, this is our cross to bear. WE have all succeeded at more than we even understand how to give ourselves credit for and we will continue to achieve lofty heights as we move forward.

The Divine light in me recognizes the Divine light in you.
May you cultivate Peace
May you cultivate Joy
May you cultivate Love

I have found a solution

Be watching over the next few months there will be less of me around 🙂

Tattered Rags

We all inherit a story.  Sometimes the story is just what we wanted and it feels like a comfortable robe or warm blanket. Other times it feels like a straight jacket. After reading one of my favorite authors I realize that mine feels most like tattered rags that have been heaped upon me. I have kept them on because I didn’t know any better and because I thought they were mine.

The abuse I suffered is not my story it is my mothers, her mothers. The neglect I endured is not my story it belongs to a community who only knew how to fail its members. The abandonment I wept for is not my story it is the story of a father who lost his dear mother just as he was beginning a family of his own.

So much of what I have carried around as MY STORY really isn’t which explains why I have been so reticent to share it, to discuss it, to OWN IT.

When I meet new people I do not want to discuss my past, my history, to me it is just a bunch of horrible things that tarnish any connection I could have with this person. Worse by sharing that story I tend to draw into my personal life those who resonate most strongly with it and while that is great for those who need to hear it and my triumph over it most of the time I have attracted “Abusive Neglectful Abandoner’s”

I am not proud of MY STORY either. It never gives me satisfaction to realize that DESPITE all that has occurred in my life I am a well adjusted relatively sane individual. I simply cannot embrace that truth in the same manner as it looks to the outside world, as a major triumph. Today, I finally understand why that is.

IT IS NOT MY STORY; It never was.

All that identifying with the story I was handed has done is distracted me from my own story. The one I should be Living, the one i should be Telling. I have spent so much time overwhelmed by what are admittedly horrid circumstances and situations, that I never took the opportunity to live my life. I have substituted truly living for being a voyeur of my own life. From an early age I spent my own free time buried in books, substituting what I read for what I wanted to do. During those formative years I was too busy surviving to even contemplate thriving, in the later years I simply recreated my early existence. Over the last bit I have been wandering in circles trying to find meaning in a story that was never mine to begin with.

I suppose that some may read this and feel that I have simply found a way to ignore the past with a delusion. Perhaps. ( that is what all of us do whether we realize it or not, some people call it re-framing…..). However in my innards I know that there is a difference.  Just like I know the difference from the definition and clinical explanation of forgiveness and the actual reality of forgiveness.

From this point I must create my story. one that does make me proud, one that inspires me. I must throw off these tattered rags to find the emperors new clothes I know are underneath.

May I live in interesting times!

In the Beginning

Awareness comes slowly. Before I can even consider that I AM I begin to register information. The temperature I get used to and call it optimal. In fact I take it as my own and mimic it in my own self. I Expand. I cannot know that I am being fed its rate is constant. All I need is provided; I Expand. There is no light yet I do not know what light is; there are sounds the slow rhythmic lub lub lub, it is soothing. I Expand. Boundaries, I begin to feel something strange, different. I Expand. I am being crushed. I register new information a sensation I am not familiar with. the temperature changes I feel it all along the edges of my boundaries. My energy source is interrupted. I note that something is missing something I don’t have words for. Instinct causes me to open and orifice and gulp down something cool and acrid. I Scream; I Expand.

I am cold now, the sounds are no longer soothing.My boundaries are being violated. I must accumulate data at an astounding rate just to make sense of what is  happening. I discover my lack of comfort causes a state of emotion I will learn to call fear. I am no longer content. Yet I still expand. no matter how much I want this to end.

I begin to notice a rhythm to this place in which i am existing. Dark Light, Hunger Satiation , Dry Wet, Pain Pleasure , Aware Unaware. Nothing is like it was before the Cold.

This overload to my senses assaults me daily. Too loud, too hard, too long between comforts, I hate this place. When did i learn this emotion. I want to go home. What is that; why do I want it. It fills my thoughts my dreams I don’t like it here, it is not safe. I pull safety around me like a blanket, more and more until I am covered in a shell which cannot be penetrated by anything. Anytime i feel unsafe I pull more covers onto myself.  I create a companion to share my cocoon, I cannot know this companion will be evil, how could I know. I cannot know that I am the source of these feelings as well as the repeated external  boundary intrusions.

Time passes and I Expand. My expansion seems gross and excessive because of my shell of safety. I have forgotten that I created it. That is it not truly my own flesh. I condemn myself for my need for safety. I attempt to shut off my connections to the outside world hoping to return to the time before the Cold. It doesn’t work, yet I do not know another way. Pain is constant now. I begin to contract inside my shell; yet the shell expands, it has a mind of its own.

I wander amongst those who are just as hurt as I am and we hurt each other more bumping and scraping churlishly causing more pain and reveling is the sense of power it gives us. I call myself strong and wise. I am non of these things but how can I know that.

Inside my shell I have died. I am just a ghost of all that my potential promised to be. In that death I find no quick cure. I find no solace. a single faint ray of light whispers of salvation and a return to the time before the cold. Has it been there the whole time, or is it a new offering. Having nothing to lose I grasp at this scanty beam of weak light and pull. I Expand.

Time elapses. I continue to expand. What will the future bring?

Hope.

This was begging to be released this morning.  I need to communicate in imagery  rather than words from time to time.

And now for something mundane

I dont want to cook anymore.

There i have said it. I have been cooking since i was 5 and i am simply tired of it. It doesn’t help that I am single. It doesn’t help that I truly prefer homes cooked food to restaurant food. None of that means diddly-bubkus. The problem is that I have been cooking day in and day out for 35 years and I am quite simply tired of it. Even worse i don’t really want to eat.  Been doing that one off and on for 10 years at least but the stomach seems to make a pain of itself. and so i eat.

My relationship with food has been stressful to say the least. At the age of 10 i decided that I was officially FAT. Being the logical person i was that meant that calories must be restricted until i was not FAT. Well that never happened I am still FAT and it is only in the last 18 months that I have come to accept that it has way more to do with my trauma than my eating habits and yet I still find myself wanting to restrict calories. Gone are the days when my iron will was able to tell myself that 800 Kcals a day was all we were going to eat so suck it up. I know better. Now it is even more difficult since i know it is my attitude that must change and my fear of ballooning up to SUPREMO-FAT is so strong that I must fight daily to reassure myself that I am safe and loved etc and so can eat.

So i appear to be at an impasse. When I started writing i figured this was truly only about begin tired of cooking, now i see that it has to do with the last hold out of starve-myself-mastery as well. Punishing myself for failing yet again to loose weight in what i conciser a reasonable amount if time. Yesterday i was reminded to support and love myself. I must admit that sometimes i have absolutely no clue what that means. Obviously there is a part of me who save every scrap of food i intake. I recently remembered that food was also restricted from me when i was actually hungry. Why does this have to be so complicated. My onion is so thick can it please be over soon…..  ( concludes rant for the day).  Seriously though, this feels like too much for one person to take on and yet it is only able to be conquered by one person; me.

So I dont want to eat, I dont want to cook and I dont want to eat out.

I have not figured out how to appease the demons inside when i come to hording food or allowing me to have a healthy body.   On the other hand i no longer scorn me verbally on a minute by minute basis, and I do know that it is not about the food i intake or the calories i burn.

Does supporting me mean Cooking or abstaining? Does it mean Eating or abstaining?  In this moment of now I don’t have and answer. I will be content to allow me to not have an answer. My saying “When in doubt do nothing; when you know, execute.”

I shall go back go bed.

PS. My roommate just came in the office and asked me what i was staring off into space for. I told her I was hungry and didnt want to eat. Her reply?

“That is a common problem for you isn’t it.”  I laughed she replied ” Just stating facts here”

Le sigh

I am a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.

O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!
My tables,—meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain:
At least I ’m sure it may be so in Denmark.

Hamlet. ACT I Scene 5.

Well now, today I post something current.

I convinced my Naturopath to allow me to test out a product she had on her desk unopened for 6 months. It is the HeartMath emWave® Desktop In the 48 hours i have had it I have learned more about my physiological state than I have ever known.

1. I am very ( let me repeat) VERY anxious.
2. I have not yet recorded a relaxed state of mind
3. I do not yet have an understanding of what thoughts bring me to “coherence”
4. The more I quiet my mind the less “coherent” I become

Anxiety

I am anxious. I honestly didn’t know. I think others especially health care practitioners of the subtle energy variety have attempted to communicate this to be in their many and varied language patterns, however the bottom line is that I am a data kind of guy and i didn’t have a baseline for comparison.  Assuming you have read Unbelievable you are aware that I have had trauma in my life. What you may not be aware of is that until 2006 I considered myself wounded but stable and well-adjusted. When I was first told that I was angry by someone I had to listen to, I simply could not accept that truth. I mean look at my and my history. From my point of view I had the patience of Job ( flaws and all) I held a steady job in a stressful environment and excelled. I knew what anger looked like and I was not HER ( my mother ) so how could I have anger. Needless to say I have learned to accept that truth now and it was the first leg of my journey. For me finding a way to access that specific emotion was grueling since I had buried it under my jail of logic and thrown away the key. Then once I was aware that I did indeed possess said anger I had to face my fear of the ramifications of that fact. Consider, I choose at 21 to have a vasectomy performed to that I would reduce my possibility of becoming a child abuser to zero. I simply would never allow for me to have the opportunity to ever be what my parents had been to me ( at the time I didn’t know what I know now about my father so I considered them both to blame). To realize that I have both the experienced to become anxious and the right to be anxious has also been a truth slow in the dawning.

Relaxation

When I first began to use this product I looked forward to the hard evidence that It would provide me. I knew that good actionable intelligence would be provided yet I didn’t know what to expect. I sat down and installed the software, brought the unit to operational readiness and set min mind to that state I have come to think of as meditative, I admit that I wanted good results. The units result? Stress… hmm ok try thinking of different things; that moves me slightly towards coherence, however no where neat relaxed. Closing my eyes? Nope. OK let’s try this during a nap, NOPE. while sleeping? LOL more stress actually that when awake ( OMG, how will I deal with that?) Honestly I began to doubt the product, so I asked a friend to try it out. Bad news for me; she was able to achieve all three states, apparently at will ( I wonder if begin a mother gives her some special powers). So I am left with this knowledge so far. I do not yet know how to relax and I must realize that I do not simply relax.

Coherence

“Stress creates incoherence in our heart rhythms. However, when we are in a state of high heart rhythm coherence the nervous system, heart, hormonal and immune systems are working efficiently and we feel good emotionally. emWave Personal Stress Reliever helps you reduce your emotional stress by displaying your level of heart rhythm coherence in real-time. But emWave does more than just display coherence levels. It guides you toward stress relief by training you to shift into a coherent, high performance state.”  – HeartMath Institute

“Are you a good witch, or a bad witch”. Turns out my mind and my body don’t necessarily agree on that topic. Thoughts I thought would bring me peace and coherence actually did just the opposite. This will take many more sessions to iron out however I think that this will give me a clear path to ironing out neural wrinkles that have so far evaded detection. Honestly while being startled at the results, this is the one that provides me with the least amount of concern.

Quietude

And now for the pièce de résistance. I learned mindful mediation as I was beginning to work on my path toward healing. In fact I started it pre-path to be honest. While I have not kept a schedule I can be proud of I have continued to do it as I can. I have of late come to the dawning conclusion that guided meditations are better for me, but always preferred mindful meditation because i had a belief that it was a superior method. In my case that has been proven to not be true. Here is why I think that is true. My coherence scores are consistently greatly improved when I am full of thought. my lowest scores come when I am in a state of mindfulness, followed by when I am in a state of sleep. For me, something about having no thoughts, disquiets my soul. I have theorized that this had to do with the fact that I used to have an inner dialog that ran 24/7 and now since learning that I must control my thoughts I have begun to follow the adage that if I don’t have anything nice to say I say nothing. I am aware that i have lost conscious control of my heart rate. I assumed that something was broken inside my circulatory system, today I begin to suspect that my running inner dialog was a sort of security blanket that I have forcibly removed from myself. Without this calming effect of background noise part of me is panicked and repressed. I simply took away the bad thoughts, I didn’t replace them with  a similar amount of positive thoughts. Do not misunderstand me I have positive thoughts and I control my negative thoughts by re-framing them as needed. Given how much my mind and apparently my body have come to rely on my running dialog to be “happy” I have simply not kept up pace.

This leads to an interesting conundrum. I have come to welcome the silence of the inner voices. yet it appears that my body doesn’t agree with me. For now i will begin using guided meditations as a regular part of my process. I will also be more mindful of providing positive affirmations on a regular basis to soothe the bodies need for that. I do not have any other ideas at this time. if anyone has something to share please feel free to let me know.